dont-want-food-toofat-deactivat

i tell people i hate myself
they just laugh
i tell my family i’m sad
they ignore me
why does no one notice?
“it’s because you’re fat”
says ana, inside my head
i throw up in the toilets
my parents see but don’t care
i tell my friends about it
they say “oh well”
why does no one notice?
“it’s because you’re fat”
says mia, inside my head
i cry to my mum
i cry to my friends
they tell me to toughen up
and that i’ll be fine
why does no one notice?
“it’s because you’re fat”
says ana and mia, inside my head
i lose 10 kilos,
drop a size
and skip most meals
but still, no comments
why does no one notice?
“it’s because you’re fat”
says too many voices, inside my head
and then finally
20 kilos from the start
the weight of my 11 year old sister
after not eating for days
after vomiting everything i did eat
after dropping 4 sizes
people notice
“you’ve lost so much!”
“you look so good!”
“i wish i looked like you!”
but also
“you’re so unfit”
“you can still lose more”
“you should stay under 50kg,
otherwise you look bad”
and i cry every night
from the hunger pains
and the thought of never being enough
but it’s then that i realize
ana and mia are there in my head
the only ones who have stuck by me
are cheering me on: proud, congratulating me
and it’s then i realize
that losing weight
is the only thing that makes me happy
because it makes my best friends
happy too

why i lose weight (via @skinny-starve-die)

feedyourdemonsx

🍃If you post about any of the following please reblog so I can follow you🌿

a-thinner-mint

🌱Thinspo/Thinspiration
🌱Meanspo/Sweetspo
🌱Anorexia
🌱Eating Disorders
🌱Weightloss
🌱Fasting
🌱Diets

Source: a-thinner-mint

42-kg-please

for someone who’s terrible at math, i’m pretty fucking obsessed with numbers

me, about anorexia (via skinnyfeelsbetter)

Source: skinnyfeelsbetter

cold-inside-outside

whenpetal

my anorexia: no food. nope. just don’t eat. just starve. please just loose some weight.

my orthorexia: okay but just eat some healthy things it’ll be okay you seriously need to consume more calories. if it’s healthy food it’ll be okay.

my depression: fuck it. who fucking cares. it’s not like it matters. eat. just eat whatever the fuck you want.

my brain: what the actual fuck,

Source: whenpetal